I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
