No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
