love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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