My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
