Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
