My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
