you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
