sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
