saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
