dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
