dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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