that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
