after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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