your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
