just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
