Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
