He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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