During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
