She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
