By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
