Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
