D3 body, D1 cock
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you didnt know i had herpes?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
