Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
