shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
