I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
