Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
