I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
