D3 body, D1 cock
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
