I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
