just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
