all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
