She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
