it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
