Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
