I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
