I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
The struggles of a small town man whore
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
