i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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