My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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