WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
