Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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