I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I am one with the molecules
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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