If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
