dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
