cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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