I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
