Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
