they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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