So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
