That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
