Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
