I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
